Happy one year anniversary~!
I'm going on a downwards spiral.
Being self destructive.
Being consistantly haunted by my past,
I loathe living every day into the future.
Life just doesn't seem so colourful and eventful anymore...
Ever since that day.
That faithful day.
With so many things that happened in the past...
I became rather self centered.
Never letting anyone getting close enough,
Always being superficial.
I need people to be around me,
But I don't like it when people are around me.
I'm just so screwed up.
I'm tired of living my days like this...
Tired of being stressed up over meaningless things like school.
Tired of needing to listen when I wanted to be listened to.
Where are the days where I used to laugh over sweet nothings?
The days where things of the world is not a subject of topic when conversations is being held.
The time spent is truely about the important things and nothing else.
Life is not like a serial drama all the time you know. They always wait 10 years then meet each other again. What I think is, if you don't hold on to fate, I think it would just slipped away like that.
I think I am the immature one all along,
Never knew what I had,
Never knew when to be satisfied.
Always need but never gave.
Always being upset all the time...
But I realised along the way after it was too late that...
What I'm upset about is what I liked most,
The little things I don't like is what I missed most.
I wished life was a serial drama.
At least you get to replay the scenes and pause it anywhere you like.
Or rather,
You could rewrite the script to have a happy ending.
21years of living,
3 years of LIFE,
And an eternity of regrets.
...How did things ever turned out to be this way?
I live everyday wishing things were what it was before.
I'm sorry if I hurt you with this post.
I'm a person who holds onto the past dearly.
If you really can't accept and live with my past,
I can't live my future with you.
A big round we went,
Good to bad and bad to good.
All things said and done.
And one thing's for certain,
I can never be first in your heart.
Never.
I try to wait,
I try to believe,
But one thing is for sure...
I will never be first in your heart.
So...Why bother.
